Cleanup on Aisle 8

What a disheveled mess I was in the last post!

Honestly I'm not much better right now ahaha I pulled an all-nighter; 24+ hrs awake. I have a biology exam tomorrow along with a lab report. I'll get through it. I seriously need to convince Starbuck's to sponsor me for the next three years; if not I think I owe their products an honorable mention when I finally graduate.

Speaking of graduation, fall registration is in two days.

Also, during last week's bio lab, my TA (a grad student conducting research) announced that there is an undergrad spot in her Adviser's research lab, and they'd prefer someone that will be there awhile. So I'm trying to figure out how to write a Curriculum Vitae (when I figure it out the right way I will definitely share the info), and I may just go to the Career Center on campus and see what resources/handouts they have about it... if I stay awake long enough. Lol sorry I can be dramatic.

It's all good though, because I realized that there is nowhere else I would rather be than sitting here, sleep deprived, and with class in less than 3 hours. I love school, I love almost everything about it (except buying $100+ online access codes for a 10% homework grade, bastards)! If I weren't in school I know that I'd be whining about that too, but I am determined to finish.

I've said that I've been hunting and searching for this "genuine college experience" by rushing for Greek life and whatnot when really I am living that experience everyday... I'm just really not taking advantage of it. There are so many resources and people available for YOU on campus! Most of these offices, I'm learning, are usually empty because students don't take advantage of them.  Regardless, just by getting involved in things that I'm genuinely interested in has opened up doors to new opportunities. My next hurdle is just believing in myself enough to put the work in instead of waiting til the so-very-last-minute that I end up hating the fact that I have to do anything! And that's not right. I know they don't print your GPA on your degree but having a competitive one (to me, a 3.3 for starters) makes doors literally FLY open.

The main reason why I was so overloaded-out in my last post was because I had so many possibilities and doubts flying through my brain that I didn't know what to do... so much so I couldn't even keep a logical train of thought. Ahaha when I went back and read it the next day I told myself I may as well have been drunk or something! It was terrible.

But anyway...

Yet, another thing I've learned is that high GPAs are everything on paper (especially if you are looking grad school options like me); that stupid number determines at LEAST 40% of every decision that will be made based off of your application, and I understand that GPA is one of the first things they look at, besides race unfortunately. Then comes course-loads, research (if any *and by the way, if you have the opportunity to do undergraduate research, TAKE IT! If you want to apply to medical school in the future that helps you a lot*) extra-curricular activities, and community service.   You need to put in the time and work to keep your GPA competitive.... and by you I mean me.

:sighhh:

On that note, I think I'm going to brush my teeth, get dressed, and head to campus.

~~

I ended up falling asleep for 2-3 hours after walking my dog with the full intention of heading straight to campus after... but I realized as I ventured out into the sunlight that am more physiologically tired than mentally tired, and under those conditions it is not safe to ride to school (motorcyclist over here).

I'm on my way in now, slightly more refreshed. Have a beautiful day, everyone.

And remember, even if you aren't there yet you are closer than you were yesterday.

...and how does that make you feel?

Whoa guys. WHOA.

I know that it has been quite awhile since I've posted here, but I guess it's to-be-expected from a double majoring college kid... adult. CRAP! See?! I feel like I'm wasting away. Don't get me wrong, I love college [queue Asher Roth] and I love meeting new people, discussing important topics and concepts in an academic setting... however the stress can really get to you.

For instance, I quit my job last week to become a full-time student until the end of the semester (finals prep + work = overload). It feels so good to be able to concentrate fully on school and my studies, but I still feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to complete everything wholeheartedly. I'm doing the best I can the best ways that I know how. Once I realized maybe a job isn't the only reason why I'm not completely succeeding I started looking at everything else. Is it because I'm a double-major? Is it because I have a hard time focusing? Did I take on too much? Is my commute too long? Should I be living closer to campus? Should I stop my extra-curricular activities? Or at least cut back on officer duties? Should I meditate more?

A million-billion questions and doubts are in my head and I feel paralyzed; deer in headlights syndrome.

This makes me think maybe I'm not cut out to be a physician.

Here's a good way to put it... and I want all to know, everything here is 100% honest. I'm actually in a funk right now with a chemistry exam tomorrow and other stuff to do, but I have been having the most ridiculous time focusing and doing well; those two goals are causal... you need to focus in order to do well. *Biggest downside to being a double-major (especially considering the 180 degree rotation on content) is by the time you get settled in one train-of-thought or concern, whether political or just mentally reaffirming something sciency like Kreb's Cycle in your brain while walking from class to class, you have to immediately push all of that aside, completely, and focus on that other something. I'm not sure about you, but I am not (lucky enough   to be) medicated with things like Adderall and Vyvanse or whatever... I barely like to take ibuprofen or aspirin! Maybe I should look into it, or talk to a doctor about it, but I don't want to be reliant on pharmaceuticals... especially amphetamine-based ones!

I am SO incredibly thankful to be where I am right now... and to have these problems. I'm so grateful that these are the worst of life's troubles for me at this moment. There is nothing I'd rather have than a genuine college education, and a fire in my soul to help those in my community, country and world through many means.

All of this makes me think that there are other options, but I know (or think I know) what I want. However, the future is contingent and every second I make choices... I will never know the results of these choices beforehand or as I make them... only after the fact. I just need to center myself and get back in touch with my instincts and figure out what my passions are again.

Meditation, here I come. Namaste.

Ugh.

I am so ready to be done with chem lab!!! Which sucks to say because I really enjoy labs. I just really do not enjoy working with two of the three people I'm stuck with. The girl is nice and is always the one to write a procedure but when it comes time to do/measure/experiment it seems like common sense goes out the window. For instance, we had to remake standard solutions for an equilibrium experiment and I told her the grams per acid volume twice. And for some reason she started measuring water with an eyedropper... I'm like, "umm what is that for?" I tried to correct her but she hastily said, "I know what I'm doing," so I'm like "alright then," and proceed to do what I was doing with the other solution. 10 minutes later she looks up and is like, "wait, what am I doing this for?" Lmfao "I tried to tell you.."

Then there's MrMeanMath... ughhh. So he evaluated my initial lab report and beforehand he looks at me and says, "Just so you know I am really critical on evals," but then proceeds to snap a pic of my stoichiometric equation for the whole reaction... then proceeded to nit-pick my english!!! It was seriously just reversing sentences, and crossing stuff out because I called out his data-gathering as a source of error. Granted, he did help with a missing formula and explained his numbers, but I emailed him asking about the data.. to which he never responded. Oh but here's the kicker: our school's email system is essentially gmail with the chat option for contacts. His name was 'online and active' according to the chat prior to me writing this email... yea well because I was still logged in while finishing my report, HE WAS ONLINE FOR 2 HOURS AND DIDN'T RESPOND. So, I let his peer eval have it.

Quickie

Alright, my chem group is getting much better :)  makes me very happy. Our next experiment is going to be ridiculous so we seriously need to know what we're all doing. I'm sure we'll get it done and kickass at it! 

On another note, I just took my first biology quiz and A+ on the first go-round. Score!

I've also come to the realization that I waste entirely too much time... so I will be scheduling out my days so I productively use my time. I seriously think that's the military-ness in me (if that makes any sense) because all you have to do is follow a schedule... they give you a schedule of where to be and when, and all you do is just show up ready to work. So ya, I'm going to try this and see how it goes.

Lastly it has come to my attention that the education credits for this year's taxes will be on hold until February 15th... sucks, right? I read that they (the IRS) are "updating their systems to process the 8863" ... I thiiiiiink they're accepting the 8917 or whatever the other form is.. the itemized deduction one. Google it to be sure.

Ooh! Did I mention that I am now an officer with the Chemistry Society? =)

Have a great week everyone! Any bets on the Superbowl? I won't be able to watch it tomorrow.... there is wayyyy too much stuff for me to catch up on to watch two teams I'm not very fond of. Now if the Falcons would have made it, YES I would totally watch. [Gotta represent the ATL!]

Claim Your Credits!

Alright everyone, I am no tax professional by ANY means! My mom has done taxes for businesses for a long time and the best way she described learning how to do them is following the directions. Screw the tax wizard websites and paying other people.... if you can follow directions and have an hour or two to spare, then DIY (it's free!). Usually anything besides a basic 1040(EZ/A) form (amending returns, 1099s, additional credits, etc) will cost you extra when you use a tax preparer. Some preparers charge a percentage of what they get for you returned.

IRS.gov has a lot of resources to help people file their taxes correctly. For every single form they issue there is a corresponding instructions file. There is even a hotline you can call with questions, and a Common Mistakes page that lists things to avoid.

*ALL THE FORMS (current year and previous years) ARE FREE AND FOUND AT THE IRS WEBSITE**

This year, after browsing the IRS website and finding the specific form to claim the education credit, I figured out how to claim it! A good friend of mine also recommended amending last year's taxes so I won't miss out on the lost credit from before.

For example.. take my (as-of-late) tax troubles (because I finished them!!!): last year I used an online tax wizard (one of the mainstream companies that offers free 1040EZ filing) and only received my federal withholding taxes back. I had no idea how to go about trying to claim an education credit... although I knew they existed. Long story short, the free wizard didn't help me claim education credits so I went without.

Anyway, I ended up having to both amend last year's taxes (form 1040X) which required me to complete form 1040A since you cannot claim education credits on a 1040EZ form. The instructions are pretty clear for each form.. they have cute little worksheets and tell you which lines to add, subtract, or numbers to divide by. All you need is a little patience. I'm not going to lie it definitely took me a few hours to finish all three forms. My mom was nice enough to double-check them for me and she cleared up a few terminology questions I had.

The 2 forms (that I found relevant for my purposes) to claim education credits are form 8917 and 8863. I used 8863, however there is more than one type of credit to suit multiple needs.. so read the instructions and find what applies to you!

Happy Tax Season, everyone.

Motives.

Alright I just need to vent for a minute...

I had chem II lab today. We were given the task of figuring out how to measure the heat capacity of a styrofoam calorimeter. As we're doing what we're doing someone in the group says something like, "Oh I don't know if they're right.. I don't really care, it's not like I'm ever going to use this." I've heard this a ton! ....in high school.

I proceeded to ask, "Wait, aren't you a chemical engineer major? Don't you think heat exchange will be pretty prevalent in your field?"

"Well yea but in that industry they have all these intricate computers and machine that do it, so this is dumb."

Hey man, to each their own. And who knows if we'll ever need to construct a coffee cup calorimeter! It's (not quite disappointing, but not quite upsetting).... disturbing? No, that's too harsh. But to go through your college courses like that, just LEAVE!

Maybe it is my own intentions and goals that are being biased here... I mean, the whole reason why I want to become a doctor is to be able to help people without being limited to fancy ridiculous computerized machinery. Medicine is an art, Healing is a gift. And if someone becomes immobilized because they can't figure out how to do something without the technology... and don't care to know the fundamentals... then... lol NO! Just go. Please.

The rest of us have important work to do, rather than sit back and wait for a paycheck for watching a computer monitor all day.

Maybe harsh... IDK. I'm not very fond of my lab group.... I miss my old lab group!!!!!

I know I will make the best of any situation and any group.. this is MY grade we're talking about. We'll see how next week goes.

For instance, don't pick acid/base reactions and assume simply HCl and NaOH will have a heat transfer... lol whatever. I wanted to do redox reactions... but what do I know? I'm not in the honors college like all three of them....
I'm sure it's just me, and my perception. Blehh..

I have a much better feeling about my Bio lab partner, she seems sweet :)

Anyway, enough ranting. Principle of the post: actually pretend to give a shit, especially when you have a lab group. If one person doesn't give a damn, then how can I rely on their data? How do I know that they are maintaining accuracy and precision?